Does my butt look big in this? How men hate that phrase. It’s a mine field, particularly if the answer is yes, but I really don’t think it’s the pants. And really the women who asks it is either fishing for a compliment or seeking validation on her outfit, which at the end of the day is really the same thing. We want to be told that we look beautiful.
For all our evolution and slick technology, rules of engagement and political correctness, scratch any man or woman and underneath is the lurking hormonal conditioning that kept our caveman ancestors alive and reproducing. For men it’s all about performance. The best hunter, the strongest warrior, the man who managed to stay alive the longest got the most opportunity to, well, get laid.
To this day men remain focussed on performance and seek validation based on that. Men love to be appreciated for what they do, particularly what they do for their woman. A simple ‘great job with that garbage honey’ can garner flawless rubbish removal in the future, often for days at a time, or at least until a good show comes on.
For women it’s about how we look, after all it was our attractiveness that got us the strongest, best performing men and allowed us to have babies and, you know, continue the human race.
A million years of evolution and we’re still ridiculously flattered by ‘hey baby, great rack’. It would be funny were it not quite such an exploited and distorted subject. I’ve not met any women, myself included, who hasn’t at some stage in her life felt unattractive, and as a result, unworthy. Several billion dollar industries have evolved based on exploiting the frailties of women’s beauty, the biggest of course being clothing.
All women are beautiful. In some way, something about each and every one of us is breathtaking. We usually don’t see it because we’re too busy comparing ourselves to Angelina Jolie or Cameron Diaz or the really hot chic who lives next door our husband keeps gawking at. So we work out, we buy expensive clothes and cosmetics; we cut up our bodies in an effort to be thought more beautiful.
But that’s the point; thought by whom? Do we want to be voted most beautiful woman in the world in some man’s magazine? Or maybe we want to attract the man of our dreams, and then keep him. Its as if the more people who compliment us and are attracted to us the more worth we have, the more value in the eyes of the world. And correspondingly the less we’re told how beautiful we are the less worthy we feel.
The reality is the most important person who needs to know you’re beautiful is you. What does it matter what anyone else thinks if YOU believe you’re sexy and beautiful and just an all round great person. A healthy self love is the single most important style tip, and beauty tip for that matter. A women who loves herself just glows. Shes confident and relaxed and stylish and attracts all sorts of wonderful people and events into her life with her happiness. She doesn’t need to ask ‘does my butt look big in this?’ because she accepts that’s her butt and she kind of likes it just the way it is, and what does it matter if it’s big, because the overall package is fun or sexy or whatever you are.
So get to know yourself. Fall in love with yourself. Quit saying nasty things to yourself! Look in the mirror and instead of remonstrating over the size of your thighs, or your butt or whatever your personal demon and look for something your like. For me it started with my eyes. I hated everything else about my body except my eyes. Then I got to love my hair. Now days I can look in the mirror and think ‘hey baby, great rack’ and it makes me feel almost as good as if some super hot guy had said it to me.
Style and beauty come from the inside out, so checkout your inner person. She’s gorgeous and if you know everyone else will too. But guess what. It won’t matter what they think, that’s just icing on the cake.
Be happy.
