I first wrote this website because I was looking for a way to make money online and wanted to write about something I found interesting. Fast forward six years (I can’t believe it’s been that long!) and this website has never really gone anywhere, or done anything.
That’s because when I really got into this stuff I stumbled across some counter culture ideas about body size and shape and how the size of my body wasn’t really so much of a problem as the negative way I thought about it.
I hated myself. I hated my fat, I hated that I couldn’t seem to shift it, I hated that I couldn’t find clothes to “hide my shame”.
I was completely shocked to realise that maybe that opinion, that soul deep self loathing, was less to do with how I really felt and more to do with some skilful manipulation by the media.
Real peace, real happiness, which I happen to think is the whole point of life, comes from accepting yourself just the way you are right now. Complete with fat rolls and cellulite and gorgeous, womanly curves!
I’ve been really lucky in the last few years to have taken steps toward that, towards feeling accepted, just as I am, fat rolls and all. I’ve found a measure of peace and acceptance, fragile though it may be, and I’m really starting to feel … happy.
But I still have nothing to wear!
I like to look nice. I like to wear clothes that are comfortable and flattering. I know some women say “fuck flattering” and I’m a hundred percent behind that sentiment if that’s what you want.
Me personally, I want flattering. I want feminine and you know what, I want sexy if I can manage it, though mostly I feel like a spinster librarian attempting an unassisted makeover with an almost empty roll of hollywood tape and a pair of curling irons when I try. I don’t care. Sophia Loren is my idol and I want her style.
Unless I can’t be bothered.
And then I just want to be … pulled together.
Yeah, that’d be great.
So why is it so damn difficult!
Selecting the right outfit for you, creating a cohesive style, is something you have to work at. It’s a learned skill like cooking, or plaiting hair or growing a huge garden of beautiful flowers. It takes practice, commitment and a bit of helpful advice to point you in the right direction.
And if you’re anything like me, ie, plus size, then just finding clothes is a chore all by itself. But there are plenty of gorgeous, fuller figured women out there with amazing styles. I’m going to track them down, steal their secrets and make them my own.
I really want to change the way I think and feel about the way I dress. I want to feel sexy, beautiful and most of all, me.
I’m on a mission to find my personal style.
Stick around to see how that works out for me. Better yet, let me know how you’re doing it. Please, I need the help!