Style Your Body Shape

Since when did having curves somehow make me a porn star? This article from Harpers Bazaar gave me a serious double take. Combined with a recent case where a bra advert for television featuring a curvy model was pulled off-air because it was deemed too sexy I think the obsession with judging peoples bodies and shapes has just gone too far.

I’m a curvy chick. I can’t hide it, and despite the fact that certain people would have me believe it’s my duty to starve myself to emaciation, you know what, I just don’t buy it. I’m big. To try and be small is very unhealthy for me.

I really resent the implication that I’m therefore some sort of sex object just because I choose to have curves. As a woman with large breasts I have lived much of my life with the assumption that because I have them, I must therefore be available to any man who wants to slobber all over them. It’s annoying that mainstream media keeps perpetuating the same idea with thoughtless articles like this one that makes it seem ok to categorise women as sex objects based on the fact that they have curves.

Ok, rant over.

LISA

I came across this video I wanted to share about accessorizing for petite women.

The basic idea is that if you’re little then you need little accessories. The video shows how to choose what will work best.

So what if you’re petite but not necessarily little? You need to balance your frame. Bigger girls can wear bigger accessories so experiment with what works for your size.

Keep in mind if you’re petite you have two main goals – 1) elongate your frame and 2) keep things simple.

Lisa

One of my favourite style icons is Sophia Loren.

She always looks impecable turned out, ultra feminine and very sexy. All this from a woman who’s 70 plus years old. She has a simple, elegant style and she sticks with it.

If I can emulate even a little of her style then I will be forever grateful.

When I started researching for this project what I planned was a a short session where I sat down, filled in a couple blank questionnaires and hey presto! shopping list. With only a little preliminary research I already know that its not going to be that simple.

So … What Is Wardrobe Planning?

For a start the process of wardrobe planning is different from developing your style. Jennifer Skinner, an online wardrobe planning expert describes developing style as …

…all about figuring out what looks best on you. It involves choosing the colors that flatter you the most and the silhouettes that enhance your figure. It covers discovering your style persona and how you want the world to see you. It involves learning how to put outfits together. It also includes deciding what makeup and hairstyle best compliment your whole look.

Developing your style is all about learning and experimentation. Wardrobe planning by comparison is the process of actually putting together your wardrobe so you always have the elements on hand to look fabulous. Using a building analogy developing style is the design stage and wardrobe planning is the actual process of building.

Which all means that if you’re at the stage of planning your wardrobe it’s expected you already know what your personal style is.

What If You Don’t Know Your Personal Style?

The next step after this one is to audit what you already have. After that I will go through some ideas about defining what is your style and how to go about putting it together.

Whatever your style, or lack of it, you need to have clothes and in this current financial climate it’s vitally important to make your money go as far as possible. The way to do that is by making a plan and then sticking to it. Taking the steps to plan, even without knowing your signature style, will give you the edge by having more pieces that work together.

Step One: How Do You Spend Your Time?

Your wardrobe is a tool; one that works with your lifestyle. So … um, what is your lifestyle? Sit down and do an inventory of your ‘usual’ week. How much time do you spend at work? How much time on leisure and entertainment? If it helps make a diagram to show how you spend your time.

Below are some questions to try and get you started.

Family: Are you married, dating, divorced? Do you have children? How old are they?

Location: Do you live in a city, town, quiet beachside resort, the country or the suburbs?

Weather: What is the weather like where you live? Are there long hot summers? Or freezing cold winters? Are the spring and fall (autumn) temperate or cool?

Work Life: How much time do you spend working? What sort of activities does your job entail? Do you need special considerations in your wardrobe like conservative suits or durable clothing? Is there a dress code in your job or a uniform?

Home Life: What is your role in the family? What style of home do you have? What are your regular activities or duties? What do you and your family do as a group?

Social Life: Do you go out often? Where do you go? What do you do? Whom do you do it with? Do you do community work? Do you attend fundraisers or church or the kids football on a regular basis?

Exercise / Sport style: What sort of sport do you play or exercise do you do? Do you need special clothing, such as for tennis or gold or yoga?

Weekend / Holiday / Travel Style: Do you go a way for the weekend? Where do you go and what sort of activities do you undertake.

Try and take a long term view – over the next year. Are you going somewhere on holiday? Are you planning on moving to a more temperate or cooler environment? Will there be major changes in your lifestyle over the next year?

Once you know how much time you spend on various activities in your life, and have identified any unusual events that will require different items then you’re ready for the next step: Wardrobe Planning Step 2: What Do You Already Have?

Good shopping,

LISA

I’ve always had this dream about clothes – specifically a wardrobe full of beautiful, sexy clothes that fit wonderfully and are perfectly me. Possibly this is not much of a surprise since you’re reading this on my blog about style.

That said I have to say I’m not much of a fan of fashion. I read a lot of blogs and look at a lot of clothing websites and frankly it just makes me tired. What I want is to have a wardrobe of classic items that work together so that I’m covered for all occasions. I like to shop, but I’m very budget conscious so I prefer to prioritize my money. What I really want is to have some looks all worked out and then buy the items I need to achieve those looks, always working with my own body shape of course.

Such is the province of wardrobe planning, and it’s twin sister the look book. Since this is something that I really want to do for my own personal wardrobe I may as well write about the process as I go through it.

Stick around and find out how to plan your wardrobe.

LISA

I haven’t posted for a while because I’ve been in two minds as to whether to continue this blog or not.

Recently I’ve been reading lots of different stuff about body image. I struggle constantly with my own body image, and it tends to permeate every part of my life. When I step out of my comfort zone, and try something new and different, I feel uncomfortable, which, hello, the whole point. The problem is that when I’m uncomfortable I’m afraid and when I’m afraid my mind conjures thoughts and memories to try and get me to move away from what makes me uncomfortable. And those thoughts are always about my weight; the many diets I’ve tried and failed, how ugly I feel, how unacceptable and unlovable I think that makes me.

And then I find images that reinforce how ugly I am. I’m an overweight person and in this particular society that’s portrayed as a very bad thing and there are an infinite number of images and comments that reinforce that opinion.

Rethinking My Aim

I started this blog when I began learning how to dress to flatter my shape and I couldn’t believe how much difference it made to the way I felt about myself. I started because I was sick of waiting for nice clothes but it turns out to be one of the steps to overcoming eating disorders – go figure. Suddenly I was feeling sexy and beautiful for the first time in a very long time. Having finally found something I was passionate about I started this blog to share it with the world, hampered somewhat by the process of learning how to blog along the way. Unfortunately in researching this blog I’m soaking in thousands of images every day that reinforce premise only the thin are beautiful, only the thin deserve nice clothes and only the thin are acceptable. The gains toward self acceptance are constantly being undermined by my own reading.

One of the basic ideas of working with your body shape is to create the illusion of an hourglass – that figure being the ‘ideal’ feminine shape. As I learn more about overcoming body image issues I realize I’m selling the same fantasy; lose the excess weight and suddenly be happy and whole. Or, as is the focus of this blog, fake it. I don’t believe that though; being thin is not the root of all happiness. And quite frankly I’m starting to see beauty in shapes other than an hourglass.

Examining My Own Beliefs

But I still keep looking in the mirror and examining my ‘bits’ critically. I look at my beautiful daughter and ignore how wonderful and amazing she is in favor of focusing on her size as if that is the only thing that’s important. I have this ingrained habit of contrasting my body with other women’s bodies, and it always includes a critique of the other women, even if it is my 15 year old daughter. I feel so judgemental and I’m incredibly ashamed of that.

The really confusing thing is that I look in the mirror and I like what I see – well maybe not my thighs – but I’m pretty ok with me and the way I look. Right up until I actually leave the house. Or try something and fail. Then I failed because I’m fat. I’m single because I’m fat. What an excuse – it’s all powerful. The Wall Street crisis has hit because Lisa is fat.

Really it’s just a stick that I use to beat myself with. Because I’ve believed the message that I can change my body shape with diet and exercise and I believed all the other messages that said if I was fat I was ugly and it was my duty to rectify the situation. It’s no wonder I’ve spent so much time confused. On one hand I like the way I look, and on the other I believe the messages that it’s wrong to look this way.

Where Do I Go From Here

I don’t really know where I’m going from here. I know I have more to say, particularly on the twin issues of self esteem and body acceptance, although this is possibly not the right arena. I know I don’t want to keep looking at endless pictures of thin, toned young women in clothes I can never wear.

So … I’ll be making a few changes over the next few weeks. I look forward to finding out what they might be. If you have any suggestions they will be greatly appreciated.

LISA

I saw this gorgeous dress on one of the style blogs I subscribe to. Truly this is a beautiful dress but since the post was entitled “must buy for autumn” or words to that effect I just had to laugh because this dress is actually not going to flatter a lot of shapes.

Avoid this dress, or another like it if:

• You have big breasts – the turtle-neck will smother your boobs and make them look bigger.
• If you’re bigger on top – the same with big breasts. You need the open cleavage to de-emphasize.
• If you have a little extra in the middle – again it’s just going to emphasize everything.
• If you’re bigger on the bottom – this style is going to cling everywhere and emphasize the difference. Clingy on top is ok, but opt for a flared skirt to offset.
• If you’re a rectangular or brick shape – this dress highlights the waist and if there’s no waist then that is highlighted as well.
• If you’re extra curvy – this is going to show every single curve and roll and imperfection. It’ also going to emphasize what’s there so unless you’re very comfortable with your curve this is one to miss. If you’re curves are kick ass then break out the spanex and go for it.
• If you’re not curvy – you need more structure in your clothes. Something that clings like this is going to highlight that there’s not much to cling too.

Try this dress, or another like it if:

• You’re an hourglass and you don’t have any of the issues mentioned above. It will look sensational.

Despite that this dress is actually sold out.

There is no such thing as a must-have in clothes. We just come in far to many different shapes. Don’t get sucked in to buying something just because its what the shops are selling this season. Sometimes its better to go without than jump on a trend.

Good shopping,

LISA

Recently the VMA’s were held and in true completely superficial fashion (pun intended) I’ve been checking out what all the stars wore and, just as interesting, what people have to say about that. Everyone has a different viewpoint. One thing all the commentators seem to agree on is that highlight your tits, or highlight your ass but don’t do both.

The basic rule for evening dresses is skin vs shape.

Show some skin or show your shape, but not both. Equally when you go for skin choose your boobs or your legs but not both. Brooke Hogan demonstrates this clearly by breaking all the rules. The issue is that the dress is too low cut and it’s also really short. Having a low cut dress is not an issue and then neither is having a very short dress, but both together is just too much as the focus is very much taken off the clothes. This brief, figure hugging outfit makes it look like she only just bothered to throw something on. Being stylish is about being sexy as all get out but in a way that hints rather than punches you in the face.

Ciara by comparison received many oohs and aahs for this gorgeous outfit. She’s showcasing her legs and the top by comparison is almost demure. The whole look is set off by some very expensive accessories and great attitude. She looks classy and stylish and very much the successful rock diva.

Ciara’s dress wouldn’t work for Brooke Hogan because Brooke is stacked and a boat neckline will just make her look like she swallowed a couple of melons. Plus, Brooke would look silly trying to pull off elegance – it’s not her style at all. Britney Spears shows us how it’s done.

Britney has managed to keep her laid-back, cool, California look and make it elegant at the same time. The length of the skirt is short enough to show off her legs but still be demure (on Britney anyway) and the off the shoulder look gives us a glimpse of her top whilst keeping her pretty much zipped up. The whole outfit is made super sexy by the way it clings to her curves.

Where would I wear a sequined dress?

Sequins are strictly evening wear so it pretty much limits it to cocktails, black tie and red carpet events. A sequined skirt or top is great for nightclubbing paired with jeans or a plain top, but a dress is going too far.

Be aware of the people you will be with before choosing a sparkly gown. For instance not all black tie events are created equal. A sequined dress will not be the best option for a business black tie event, when understated is a better option, so drag out your little black dress and glam it up. If it’s a social black tie event then you’re good to go.

A floor length frock, whether it’s sequined or not, is only for black tie and red carpet events and should not be worn for cocktails.

A final note

Every women should have one evening wear outfit. No matter what your lifestyle at some stage you’re going to need to dress up and go out. To avoid doing the last minute shop and buying something you will never wear again plan the purchase and have it sitting in your closet.

It’s also a good idea to wear it, around the house at least, to get more comfortable. There’s nothing worse than buying something for a big celebration and spending the whole time feeling like you stand out like a sore thumb because the outfit is not something you would ever wear.

Good shopping,

LISA

The other day I read an article about a piece published in the Observer, a British paper. They’d taken a couple of size 16 women, models, and done a photo shoot. The idea being that size 16 is the average size of British women. They were shocked by the results feeling that the women were too overtly feminine. “Almost fetishistic” was the phrase they used, suggesting the only people that could find these women attractive are in some way perverted.

I was gob-smacked when I read that. Not because someone thinks fat women are unattractive, hello, where’s the surprise in that; but because I believed it! My whole life I’ve lived by a premise that covering up is my god given duty because I’m fat. I always thought that was to hide my shame but I see now it’s so that other people don’t feel embarrassed. And not embarrassed on my behalf; it actually makes more sense that they feel confronted by my ‘overtly feminine’ curves. As if it’s a crime to be curvy.

The worse thing is that I want to change. All my life I’ve believed all those messages telling me to change, to be thinner, that I’m not good enough the way I am. And yet secretly I love my curves. I think they’re totally kick ass. It’s no wonder I spend so much time confused about my body.

So I’ve decided to declare myself as a ‘pervert’ because I think these woman look incredibly sexy and beautiful. Of course this means that I’m going to have to let go of some of my own preconceptions about myself and that actually sounds like a really good idea.

So, are you a pervert?

LISA

The more I learn about body shape the more resistant I am to actually defining a shape. One of the things that I, personally, have gained from writing this website is a greater measure of understanding of my own body and the shape that it is. How that translates into choosing clothing is still somewhat confusing and something I’m working my way through, actually as I write this website.

I do know that I don’t like the four categories I started off with. The issues with the use of the term pear basically highlighted the need for more appropriate classification. I want to further illustrate this point by examining the 12 shapes that Trinny and Susannah have identified – hourglass, cello, vase, bell, skittle, goblet, pear, lollipop, cornet, apple, column and brick.

The four categories I started with are hourglass, triangle, pear and rectangle. What shape you fall into is simple enough to define based on some simple measurements. These categories can be broken down even further into the types that Trinny and Susannah have identified.

HOURGLASS = PROPORTIONATE

1. HOURGLASS – big tits, small waist, short waist, big hips, generous thighs

What really defines an hourglass is her tiny waist.

2. CELLO – big boobs, short waist, big hips, big bottom, big thighs, slim lower legs

A cello is an hourglass with a little extra around the middle which pretty much removes the tiny waist.

3. VASE - big tits, gently curving longer waist, hips equal tits, slim thighs and legs

A vase is sort of stretched out hourglass. A vase is very much defined by her height.

PEAR SHAPE = BIGGER ON BOTTOM

4. BELL – small shoulders, small tits, small waist, big thighs, big bottom

A bell’s breasts and waist are fairly similar size with all the extra on the bottom.

5. SKITTLE – average tits, slim waist, ok tummy, big thighs, chunky calves

A skittle has curvaceous thighs and bottom but is smaller on top.

6. PEAR – small tits, long waist, flat tummy, saddlebags, heavy legs

A pear is characterized by extra weight on the outer thighs.

TRIANGLE – BIGGER ON TOP

7. LOLLIPOP – big tits, slight waist, slim hips, long legs

The majority of celebrities fall into this category.

8. CORNET – broad shoulders, small boobs, no waist, slim hips, long slim legs

Take away the big breasts and the shape becomes almost boyish.

9. GOBLET – broad shoulders, big boobs, no waist, narrow hips, long legs

And sometimes you’re just plain bigger on top.

RECTANGLE = EXTRA IN THE MIDDLE

10. APPLE – average tits, tummy bigger than tips, quiet flat bottom, OK legs

For this shape your stomach dictates how your dress, being the widest part.

11. COLUMN – shoulder width the same as hips, slight waist, longer legs

A column is tall and has no waist rather than extra – like an, um, column.

12. BRICK – Broad shoulders, no waist, average tummy, flat bum, chunky thighs, chunky calves

A shorter and wider version of the column, again with no waist.

And there you have the 12 shapes of Trinny and Susannah. I think these definitions are more useful that the simple four simply because it begins to really breakdown the categories in each group.

So what category are you? I am a cello.

LISA