At first I thought it was because, you know, fat.
“It’s because I’m fat” has been my fall back excuse for every failure in my life since I was about 10 years old. It’s such a great excuse. I’ve purposely not started lots of things simply because, hey, fat, which is just short hand for you’re a failure.
Only … well, I’ve been learning and practicing body acceptance for a few years now. Combine that with a steady diet of women who look like me and a fairly strong knowledge of plus size clothing stores and brands and, well, being fat as an excuse is not making the grade any more.
So why do I still look like an unmade bed half the time?
Ah, well there’s a number of reasons as it turns out.
1. Lack of Commitment
For me looking good is important. Up to a point anyway. At heart I’m a sociologist and a lot of expressions of gender I take with a grain of salt, looking fabulous among them. Sure its nice to look great but not so nice that its making the top of my to-do-list every single day.
And I apply that hobby like attitude to my wardrobe. I buy a half dozen new things and add them to my wardrobe, which immediately makes everything else in there look shabby. So I wear the new things. Then they wear out. Replace. Repeat.
I’m dabbling with my wardrobe and all I’m ending up doing is managing to look neat and tidy and fade into the background.
Being stylish isn’t something you play at.
Just like exercise style is accumulative. And just like exercise a little bit more often has much better accumulative results than a massive binge every other month.
If you want to be stylish you must commit to being stylish, and that commitment is with both time, studying what you like and what clothes are available and funds to buy items regularly.
2. Lack of Vision
So say I commit my time and funds to looking more stylish. Well done me.
Sadly at this point it will just mean I’ll end up with a thousand pairs of denim shorts and a suitcase full of t-shirts. Because that’s generally what I buy. And that’s because mostly, that’s what I wear.
Just deciding to buy more clothes is not going to make me more stylish.
What I really need is a clear vision of what I would like to look like. And Jennifer Lopez or Sophia Loren is not a good answer. I don’t look anything like either of those ladies and I for damn sure don’t have their clothing budgets.
Or their lifestyles. I have my lifestyle and my funds and my location, all things that will impact on the style best suited for me right now.
If I’m committing to bringing more style into my life I need to make some decisions along with that commitment.
What clothes will best work for my life? Who’s style do I love and how can I make that work for me? What do I really want to look like?
If you want to be stylish you must make some conscious choices about the image you want to portray.
3. Lack of A Plan
Now I’ve committed and I’ve got a clear picture of how I want to dress, am I stylish yet?
As with everything results come from actions.
Which is not to suggest go shopping and grab the first thing that comes along. That’s a sure fire way to end up with things squeezed in the back of the closet you never wear, says me, who just ordered a coral pleated skirt that in retrospect is completely and totally different from everything else that I own. Sigh.
Rather than approaching shopping expeditions as “have money, will spend” approach these trips as chances to get the item you’re after.
But first you need to decide what that item might be.
If you have a clear vision of what you’d like to look like it’s a small step to looking at what you currently have and identifying items that are missing from your desired look.
Spend your money on those things.
So there you have it. Three reasons I’m lacking in style.
What about you? Are you stylish? Are you not? What else should I be thinking of?