Style Your Body Shape

I saw this gorgeous dress on one of the style blogs I subscribe to. Truly this is a beautiful dress but since the post was entitled “must buy for autumn” or words to that effect I just had to laugh because this dress is actually not going to flatter a lot of shapes.

Avoid this dress, or another like it if:

• You have big breasts – the turtle-neck will smother your boobs and make them look bigger.
• If you’re bigger on top – the same with big breasts. You need the open cleavage to de-emphasize.
• If you have a little extra in the middle – again it’s just going to emphasize everything.
• If you’re bigger on the bottom – this style is going to cling everywhere and emphasize the difference. Clingy on top is ok, but opt for a flared skirt to offset.
• If you’re a rectangular or brick shape – this dress highlights the waist and if there’s no waist then that is highlighted as well.
• If you’re extra curvy – this is going to show every single curve and roll and imperfection. It’ also going to emphasize what’s there so unless you’re very comfortable with your curve this is one to miss. If you’re curves are kick ass then break out the spanex and go for it.
• If you’re not curvy – you need more structure in your clothes. Something that clings like this is going to highlight that there’s not much to cling too.

Try this dress, or another like it if:

• You’re an hourglass and you don’t have any of the issues mentioned above. It will look sensational.

Despite that this dress is actually sold out.

There is no such thing as a must-have in clothes. We just come in far to many different shapes. Don’t get sucked in to buying something just because its what the shops are selling this season. Sometimes its better to go without than jump on a trend.

Good shopping,

LISA

Recently the VMA’s were held and in true completely superficial fashion (pun intended) I’ve been checking out what all the stars wore and, just as interesting, what people have to say about that. Everyone has a different viewpoint. One thing all the commentators seem to agree on is that highlight your tits, or highlight your ass but don’t do both.

The basic rule for evening dresses is skin vs shape.

Show some skin or show your shape, but not both. Equally when you go for skin choose your boobs or your legs but not both. Brooke Hogan demonstrates this clearly by breaking all the rules. The issue is that the dress is too low cut and it’s also really short. Having a low cut dress is not an issue and then neither is having a very short dress, but both together is just too much as the focus is very much taken off the clothes. This brief, figure hugging outfit makes it look like she only just bothered to throw something on. Being stylish is about being sexy as all get out but in a way that hints rather than punches you in the face.

Ciara by comparison received many oohs and aahs for this gorgeous outfit. She’s showcasing her legs and the top by comparison is almost demure. The whole look is set off by some very expensive accessories and great attitude. She looks classy and stylish and very much the successful rock diva.

Ciara’s dress wouldn’t work for Brooke Hogan because Brooke is stacked and a boat neckline will just make her look like she swallowed a couple of melons. Plus, Brooke would look silly trying to pull off elegance – it’s not her style at all. Britney Spears shows us how it’s done.

Britney has managed to keep her laid-back, cool, California look and make it elegant at the same time. The length of the skirt is short enough to show off her legs but still be demure (on Britney anyway) and the off the shoulder look gives us a glimpse of her top whilst keeping her pretty much zipped up. The whole outfit is made super sexy by the way it clings to her curves.

Where would I wear a sequined dress?

Sequins are strictly evening wear so it pretty much limits it to cocktails, black tie and red carpet events. A sequined skirt or top is great for nightclubbing paired with jeans or a plain top, but a dress is going too far.

Be aware of the people you will be with before choosing a sparkly gown. For instance not all black tie events are created equal. A sequined dress will not be the best option for a business black tie event, when understated is a better option, so drag out your little black dress and glam it up. If it’s a social black tie event then you’re good to go.

A floor length frock, whether it’s sequined or not, is only for black tie and red carpet events and should not be worn for cocktails.

A final note

Every women should have one evening wear outfit. No matter what your lifestyle at some stage you’re going to need to dress up and go out. To avoid doing the last minute shop and buying something you will never wear again plan the purchase and have it sitting in your closet.

It’s also a good idea to wear it, around the house at least, to get more comfortable. There’s nothing worse than buying something for a big celebration and spending the whole time feeling like you stand out like a sore thumb because the outfit is not something you would ever wear.

Good shopping,

LISA

The other day I read an article about a piece published in the Observer, a British paper. They’d taken a couple of size 16 women, models, and done a photo shoot. The idea being that size 16 is the average size of British women. They were shocked by the results feeling that the women were too overtly feminine. “Almost fetishistic” was the phrase they used, suggesting the only people that could find these women attractive are in some way perverted.

I was gob-smacked when I read that. Not because someone thinks fat women are unattractive, hello, where’s the surprise in that; but because I believed it! My whole life I’ve lived by a premise that covering up is my god given duty because I’m fat. I always thought that was to hide my shame but I see now it’s so that other people don’t feel embarrassed. And not embarrassed on my behalf; it actually makes more sense that they feel confronted by my ‘overtly feminine’ curves. As if it’s a crime to be curvy.

The worse thing is that I want to change. All my life I’ve believed all those messages telling me to change, to be thinner, that I’m not good enough the way I am. And yet secretly I love my curves. I think they’re totally kick ass. It’s no wonder I spend so much time confused about my body.

So I’ve decided to declare myself as a ‘pervert’ because I think these woman look incredibly sexy and beautiful. Of course this means that I’m going to have to let go of some of my own preconceptions about myself and that actually sounds like a really good idea.

So, are you a pervert?

LISA

The more I learn about body shape the more resistant I am to actually defining a shape. One of the things that I, personally, have gained from writing this website is a greater measure of understanding of my own body and the shape that it is. How that translates into choosing clothing is still somewhat confusing and something I’m working my way through, actually as I write this website.

I do know that I don’t like the four categories I started off with. The issues with the use of the term pear basically highlighted the need for more appropriate classification. I want to further illustrate this point by examining the 12 shapes that Trinny and Susannah have identified – hourglass, cello, vase, bell, skittle, goblet, pear, lollipop, cornet, apple, column and brick.

The four categories I started with are hourglass, triangle, pear and rectangle. What shape you fall into is simple enough to define based on some simple measurements. These categories can be broken down even further into the types that Trinny and Susannah have identified.

HOURGLASS = PROPORTIONATE

1. HOURGLASS – big tits, small waist, short waist, big hips, generous thighs

What really defines an hourglass is her tiny waist.

2. CELLO – big boobs, short waist, big hips, big bottom, big thighs, slim lower legs

A cello is an hourglass with a little extra around the middle which pretty much removes the tiny waist.

3. VASE - big tits, gently curving longer waist, hips equal tits, slim thighs and legs

A vase is sort of stretched out hourglass. A vase is very much defined by her height.

PEAR SHAPE = BIGGER ON BOTTOM

4. BELL – small shoulders, small tits, small waist, big thighs, big bottom

A bell’s breasts and waist are fairly similar size with all the extra on the bottom.

5. SKITTLE – average tits, slim waist, ok tummy, big thighs, chunky calves

A skittle has curvaceous thighs and bottom but is smaller on top.

6. PEAR – small tits, long waist, flat tummy, saddlebags, heavy legs

A pear is characterized by extra weight on the outer thighs.

TRIANGLE – BIGGER ON TOP

7. LOLLIPOP – big tits, slight waist, slim hips, long legs

The majority of celebrities fall into this category.

8. CORNET – broad shoulders, small boobs, no waist, slim hips, long slim legs

Take away the big breasts and the shape becomes almost boyish.

9. GOBLET – broad shoulders, big boobs, no waist, narrow hips, long legs

And sometimes you’re just plain bigger on top.

RECTANGLE = EXTRA IN THE MIDDLE

10. APPLE – average tits, tummy bigger than tips, quiet flat bottom, OK legs

For this shape your stomach dictates how your dress, being the widest part.

11. COLUMN – shoulder width the same as hips, slight waist, longer legs

A column is tall and has no waist rather than extra – like an, um, column.

12. BRICK – Broad shoulders, no waist, average tummy, flat bum, chunky thighs, chunky calves

A shorter and wider version of the column, again with no waist.

And there you have the 12 shapes of Trinny and Susannah. I think these definitions are more useful that the simple four simply because it begins to really breakdown the categories in each group.

So what category are you? I am a cello.

LISA